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Don't be angry, if you're okay as a mom


Ashleigh Wilkening, author of mother.ly, told me how and why she has stopped working with perfection.

Don't be angry, if you're okay as a mom

At first, I did my best to be a perfect mother. Someone who puts home-cooked potatoes exclusively on organic, organic ingredients on the table for their children. Who is entertaining every minute of the day is fair and determined. Someone who's consistent in discipline and rules, and a real loving, supportive parent who's never stressed or frustrated. That was my big plan. Sounds good, right? Well, I think it looks more like a usage guide from someone who has never given birth to a child (in fact, has never seen a child). But the truth is, I was a naive newborn mother to realize that there is no "perfect mother." There were constant questions in my head: Won't they see too many years? Are you eating well enough? Have all the development milestones soared? Do you come to the community enough? And will they be decent, well-educated adults? I was a perfect example of a desperate mother who he wants to do things well. But why did I let this pressure differ from the mother I wanted to be? I put so much energy into the pursuit of perfect childbirth, and realized that while I was starving at it, I had missed out on everything, Three mother children of under one year know exactly what it is like to live in chaos and unpredictability. However, during the whole hectic "adventure", I learned the importance of flexibility, compromise and keeping track. If we are aware that life is not black or white - especially with no small children - why do we try to pretend to be parents? I know there will be days when my children because I just don't have the time to deal with them or I'm just tirelessly tired and tired. And there will be days when, for the same reason, they will get hot dogs for breakfast and dinny chicken snacks with french fries for dinner. (And the joke is that I'll be happy, after all, because they don't just eat biscuits all day long.) Today, I know exactly when it's worth going into the fight with us. If I see that they are too tired, frustrated and already cheated on sleeping in Duluth, then I will not be obligated to pack their toys.If I have to do something that my child that I'm going to bribe them with something sweet. One night, when everyone's dead and there is no particular meaning, I'm not going to fight to get them into the bath. (As far as I know, no one has died that one day did not bathe.) If we need to leave home to take their favorite toys with us, then we will start with a box of din. And even if it goes to bed, even if you go to bed with us for a while, because you want to sleep with us, you might imagine that I won't mind - even if I do it too much - because sometimes we all look to be perfect parents, we should really buy robots without human senses. There is no one that is perfect. Every child, like every parent, is completely unique and unrepeatable. Therefore, the most we can do to follow the parenting principle that is closest to our values, and this is tailored to the personality of our children. worse than the other. After all, we are all about maximizing the abilities of our children. And I don't have to be any more. I personally am overwhelmed by the role of the greatest mom in the world. In addition to keeping my mind alive, it also made it easier for me to think back to this period of time when talking about activities and big laughs - not just how superbly you ate it. that's why I always feel the perfect parents' picture - but I also quickly heal myself by thinking how good we can feel together if you don't just follow the rules and principles here.
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